Welcome To Walmart
Can I offer you an electric scooter? Walmart bums me out. Not for the reasons it bums most people out though: personally, I like browsing through aisles of low-rent shit at a million o’clock and...
View ArticleThe Soundtrack To A Shattered Self Image
At least the music’s good. When I was growing up, what you heard at the supermarket (besides “price check on Light Days Panty Liners please!”) was usually Muzak. And if it wasn’t Muzak, it was some...
View ArticleThe Horrible Hackiness of Seth MacFarlane
“Seth and Alex’s Almost Live Comedy Show”: not live, not comedy. Just a whole lot of suck. Seth MacFarlane, the creator and star of Family Guy, and Alex Borstein, who voices Lois on the show, have...
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Shit That’s Got To Stop
If I were king (not queen, not prince, not duke) I’m the first to admit that I’m easily irritated. At least once a day (though I’ll admit that number can go as high as 40 or 50 times a day), I’ll...
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Taylor Swift Sucks Out Loud on Grammys
Michael Jackson “Earth Song” an insipid mess. I stopped watching the Grammys a long time ago; before I started earning a living as a recording engineer, before a label insider told me what I had long...
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Hugo Chavez to Twitter Users: Terrorists!
Venezuelan President & musical theater fan wants state control over Internet "Pretty Bird. Now you DIE!"Well, as goes Mexico, so apparently goes Venezuela. While not as damaging to lives and...
View ArticleIranian Protesters Get Beaten and Killed
Tea Party protesters go to Burger King for sliders If there’s one thing that makes me want to bitch-slap the trustafarians whining about Starbucks, it’s this: Yesterday, on the 31st anniversary of the...
View ArticleHandsome Men’s Club
Ben Affleck is still so irritating I don’t generally watch Jimmy Kimmel’s show, so I would have missed this had I not been up looking for video accompaniment to my bowl of Sugar Smacks. I can only...
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School District Spies on Students Using Webcams in School-Issued Laptops
In a case that’s both bizarre and incredibly disturbing, more motions have been filed in the lawsuit against the Lower Merion School District (in a Philadelphia suburb) accusing the IT department of...
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I’d Rather Smoke Pot In A Malibu Than Huff Aerosol In A Matrix
Or: the decline of civilization (this time it’s real) Complaints about “young people today” probably go back to the Australopithecus complaining about “those damn kids, what with their evolving, and...
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